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Worried

I was worried she was getting the version of you I always wanted. 
I was worried you wouldn't cheat on her. Because I was something special you needed to cheat on.
I was worried you wouldn't lie to her. Because I was someone that you could lie too. 
I was worried you would talk to her. Because you could never open up to me the way I needed. 
I was worried you wouldn't hurt her the way you hurt me. Because then that meant that I wasn't important enough for you to spare my feelings.


I was worried she was getting the version of you I always wanted. I just wanted honesty. Thats all I've ever asked for. I just wanted the truth no matter how much it hurt me. I never got that. I kept thinking of the things you might have learned from our relationship. How to lie better. How to cheat easier. How to manipulate a situation better in your favor. 

I was thinking the other day, how little I must of meant to you. How I was so insignificant that you didn't have the spine to tell me what you were feeling. 


I hope she understands you. I hope she understands that she will need to dedicate her life to serving your ego so you don't abandon her like you did me. I hope she understands that when words drip out of your mouth they are poison and toxic. I hope she understands that when you revert back to childish habits she will need to not only become your lover but your mother as well. I hope she understands that you don't appreciate strong women because you feel inferior and insecure. I pray that she understands that you are a broken man who gets pleasure out of broken women. 




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