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Showing posts from December, 2020

Small things

It's the small things. The small things you did that I subconsciously would hide. I would find remains of you scattered around my house. It was like you took ahold of me all over again. It was those small things that made me fall in love with you in the beginning. It was those small things that made me fall in love all over again.  Even months after it ended.  

I'm Crazy

 I'm crazy.       Do you want to know why I'm crazy? Well, for starters, I give too many chances. So many god damn chances. To every single person who doesn't deserve even one chance. But you see, I believe in benefit of the doubt, which is the problem. I always want to believe that someone is better than they actually are. I give them the opportunity to be the person I expect them to be in my head. Guess what? They never reach that expectation. Which is probably my fault for giving them a high expectation. But I just want them to be the best version of themselves. I want them to be who they deserve to be. But they always fall short of what I expect from them.      I am horribly disappointed but I give another chance. I lower my expectations and give them the second chance to prove to me that they can be better. And they fail, again. This cycle repeats itself over and over again until my expectations are practically nothing. So when someone gives ...

Its 5am

 It's 12AM and all I want to do is scream. I want to rip open my chest and pour out the extra feelings. It's 1AM and I want to throw my bones into a black hole. Slice the fat from my body and feed it to lions.  It's 2AM and I want to pluck my eyes out with forks.  Turn my skull into a beautiful bowl.  It's 3AM and I want to bleed into the Red Sea. Tear the flesh from my face and set it on fire. It's 4AM... It's 5AM and I want to disappear.